Processing grief through creativity and drumming with Amie
Councillor Louise Mitchell, Cabinet Member for Adults and Health recently met with Amie McBye, local musician, songwriter and workshop facilitator.
Amie is running a series of free Drumming for Grief workshops at Chingford and Hale End Libraries, made possible by a Make It Happen 2025 grant. The sessions are for people who may be going through grief or feel they have grief pending, an opportunity for Amie to connect with residents in Highams Park and Chingford and offer support through creative practice.
Read their interview below and find out about the support available in your area, run by local groups and people who are making a difference every day in resident's lives when they need it most.
How do you think creativity has helped you with your own feelings of grief and how do you think it can help other people?
Amie: I have been through a lot of grief myself; I've been a musician since I was a kid and have always written too, I write poetry, I write songs and that has been a massive source of comfort and helped keep me going.
I meet lots of people who say to me they're not creative or they've never tried to play music, they're not a writer, they're not very good at art, all this sort of stuff.
Louise: Yes, I don't think I have an artistic bone in my body.
Amie: I'll challenge you on that. Creativity is different ways of expressing how you feel and there's no pressure. I'm not expecting any, you know, Matisse's in the workshops.
Louise: Probably for the best in my case.
Amie: I feel very strongly that in every community, grief support is needed. For me, these workshops are an opportunity to say, creativity really helped me and this is me sharing it with you, and it might help you too.
What have people felt able to share with you from past sessions, and how do they feel once they've gone through some of the workshops with you?
Amie: I felt very touched and very moved by a lot of the feedback, in terms of people finding a space to say things that they were never able to, or to meet other people and feel supported while they were going through a difficult time.
Isolation is a big part of society because we don't really have the support networks we need. No one talks about grief and then it happens and you don't know how to deal with it.
Louise: I think from my personal experience lots of people are very scared of saying the wrong thing, so they don't say anything, and that can be equally as hurtful and as isolating.
Amie: Definitely. I remember as a kid feeling quite isolated at times.
Louise: It's a difficult balance, isn't it?
Louise: You don't necessarily want to think about other people being in the same situation as you and feeling the same pain and the same feelings of loss, but in many ways it's helpful to know other people are experiencing the same emotions and have some understanding of what you're going through.
Amie: I think that, in some ways, it can be a relief. I know I found that – where no one is walking on eggshells, everyone just gets it. I don't have to put on a mask, I don't have to pretend that I'm okay.
And is that something you're trying to replicate through your workshops, in the ways you’re looking to help and support other people?
Amie: Definitely. I think being able to provide an environment and a safe space where people can talk about difficult experiences, losing people, how that's changed their relationships with others, how it's made them see the world and life differently.
Louise: Because grief is universal.
Amie: Yes. You probably can't name five musicians without at least a couple of them having lost a parent when they were young, for example Bono. It's just so intertwined with life.
Louise: That makes me think of the song by Eric Clapton about the death of his young child. So incredibly moving, that he'd been able to put his thoughts and emotions into words and then felt able to share it with other people.
Amie: I'm a big Tori Amos fan. She has written so much about her life experiences and one of my favourite albums of hers is the Choirgirl Hotel. She touches on miscarriage quite a bit on that album. And I'd never heard anybody talking about miscarriage before that.
Louise: Thank you so much, it was lovely to meet you.