Leaving accommodation provided by family or friends

Negotiation or mediation can help to stop you from becoming homeless if you currently live with family or friends and they have asked you to leave that home. 

Negotiation and/or mediation can help:

• It can stop you from becoming homeless.
• It can help you to negotiate a more reasonable living arrangement.
• It can stop a relationship from breaking down or help you to rebuild a relationship.
• It can help you to stay in contact with your family and friends.
• It can provide a safe, neutral space where both parties can listen to the other person’s point of view.
• It can be used to resolve neighbourhood disputes.

When negotiation and mediation can be used

It should be used as early as possible so that you can try to solve disputes before you are asked to leave. Please contact us to discuss what help is available as soon as you think an issue might mean you are asked to leave your home. 

Negotiation or mediation will not be suitable if there is a risk of abuse or violence in your existing home, so you must tell us all of your circumstances when you contact us. 

Negotiation is when people talk to each other about an issue and try to find solutions that they can both agree. We might also call it conciliation. You can negotiate yourself or other people can help and act on your behalf. 

To help you stay in your home, we will encourage you and the excluder to talk about your concerns and needs and find a solution. A member of our team may be able to help you with negotiation or we may put you in touch with another organisation we work with. 

We might: 

• arrange a home visit;
• provide you with advice about how to explain your concerns and needs; and
• ask you if we can speak to the excluder on your behalf. 

Mediation is when people explain their concerns and needs to each other in front of a mediator. 

The mediation meeting will usually be 60 to 90 minutes and there could be more than one meeting. For example, the mediator may meet each party separately and then hold a joint meeting. 

The mediator is impartial, which means they are not on anyone's side, and they are there to help both parties. The mediator will keep everything both parties say confidential. The mediator will try to help the parties resolve their issues and may suggest solutions but will not tell either party what to do. 

We can suggest a mediator to help, which could be a member of our team who is trained in mediation or an external mediation service, such as Relate. 

Start talking to the family or friends you are living with as soon as an issue arises. 

You can start this before you approach us for help. Think carefully about: 

• the issues/problems;
• what you want to achieve;
• what your family or friends may want; and
• how you could realistically solve the issues. 

Approach the negotiation or mediation honestly and openly and be prepared to work together with your family or friends to solve the issues. Focus on the future, rather than what has already happened. 

For tips on how to negotiate yourself, visit the Relate website.