Moving to a refuge

A refuge is a safe house, normally for women and children who are escaping domestic abuse. It is somewhere you can temporarily stay whilst you decide what to do next. If you feel in immediate danger, you should contact the Police on 999. 

A refuge may help if you are suffering from domestic abuse. You may be experiencing mental abuse, physical or sexual violence, financial or economic abuse or suffering from coercive control. If you are not sure whether you are suffering from domestic abuse, you can read more about it on the Women's Aid or Mankind websites. 

A refuge can help if you want to leave your home permanently or give yourself a break from what is happening in your home. You can stay at a refuge if you are a woman. Children can also stay there with you, but you do not have to have children to be able to stay. 

There are very few refuges available for men. 

You do not have to be married to your abuser or have to live with them. 

If you are worried about your safety, or the safety of your children, please contact us. We can arrange emergency accommodation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you need this. 

You may also want to seek specialist advice and support about your situation from local domestic abuse support services. 

There are also national advice and support organisations: 

• Women’s Aid: 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline: freephone 0808 2000 247 
• Men's Advice Line: Monday - Friday, 9am to 5pm: freephone 0808 801 0327 

You cannot usually book accommodation in advance, and you may not be able to get a space in your first-choice refuge, but you should be able to go on the day that you call. 

When you call us or the helpline, you will be asked for a number to call you back on once a suitable refuge has been identified. You could use a telephone box (make sure it can receive calls), a friend’s phone, a health centre or anywhere else that is a safe place. 

If accommodation is found for you, a member of staff from the refuge will discuss with you how you can get there. The refuge’s address is secret. 

Refuges are all over the country. You may want to go to one that is near to where you live (if that is safe) or you may want to go to another part of the UK. 

A refuge is somewhere you can stay temporarily and receive support. It usually provides private rooms for you to stay in and shared communal areas, such as kitchens and social spaces. 

Some are small houses and some are larger. Many refuges have disabled access and can help with children who have additional needs. Some refuges are specifically for women from particular ethnic or cultural backgrounds, for example, Black or Asian women. 

A refuge can offer: 

• emotional support and counselling; 
• practical support; 
• help to make and implement decisions about your future, such as sorting out benefits, GPs/health visitors, contacting legal services; 
• help with finding accommodation; and 
• resettlement and outreach support for women in the community.

You will probably be asked to: 

• sign a licence agreement, which will explain how long you can stay for and how much it will cost. You will be asked to pay rent or a licence fee, but the exact amount will depend upon your individual situation; 
• pay something towards other costs, like electricity bills, and you may be expected to purchase your own food. This will be discussed with you at the time that you make arrangements to stay at the refuge; 
• agree to a code of conduct about the day-to-day running of the refuge, for example, a rota to use the washing machine, incoming telephone calls and bedtimes for children; 
• agree not to use alcohol or drugs while you stay there; and 
• agree not to tell anyone where the refuge is so that it is kept a secret to protect you and other residents.